We're in for a wild ride. Exponentially accelerating technological, cultural, and socioeconomic evolution means that every year will see more developments than the previous one. More change will happen between now and 2050 than during all of humanity's past. Let's explore the 21st century and ride this historic wave of planetary transition with a confident open mind.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Top 10 Jobs of the Future

As the Western world is seemingly headed into a deepening neofeudalism, the question once again turns to what jobs will be on the rise in the next 2 decades. We've consulted our experts in sociological and economic trends and came up with the optimal list of job satisfaction and bang for your college investment buck.

1) Personal Transport Professional

Assist visiting Chinese businessmen to move around in style and get in shape at the same time! Give tours, have fun conversations, and even have a chance to learn about how non-Western nobility lives.

Required: 4 year college degree with double major in public relations and athletics (parents, send your kids to endurance runners camps early so they get enough awards to compliment the grades needed to get into college). Knowledge of Mandarin and other languages recommended.

2) Organic Farming Technician (OFT)

Become a freelance serf who is not bound to the land like your peers. Enjoy fresh food and air daily as you help pay for your sins against Mother Earth, Queen of Queens.

Required: Masters in agriculture with additional year for local certification in soil management. Monthly dues to area's farming guilds vary by region.

3) Entertainment and Media Professional ("Court Jester")

Being a celebrity star is easier than ever. You too can be famous in your regional fiefdom. Whether performing at a birthday party for the son of a local baron or delighting the hearts of weary OFTs after a harvest, endless job satisfaction is to be had uplifting the spirits of nobles and serfs alike.

Required: Bachelors in media communications and athletics to be Court Jester's assistant. After unpaid internship as right hand man for a year, another 4 years in graduate school for a public relations degree. Must be good looking and possess good cheer.

4) Colonial Military Peacekeeping Officer

Help protect freedom at home by promoting Green Democracy in liberated regions. Do your state duke and Mother Earth proud by performing bravely and professionally in rural/urban pacification. Have the power of a small time lord yourself by calling in airstrikes and settling disputes among tribal factions.

Required: ROTC and minimum of 4 year military commitment followed by police officer training. Public relations degree and knowledge of multiple languages is a big plus.

5) Footwear Technician

FTs have always been essential to our society but in recent years more so than ever due to increasingly exotic hides found in the footwear of the nobles and visiting tourists. Knowledge of shining methods for specific leathers (acquired from strange animals on remote personal hunting grounds) gives one a confident sense of purpose.

Required: Double major bachelors in animal biology and public relations as well as a 3 month apprenticeship in a local FT guild.

6) Harem Upkeep Assistant

Live in a futuristic gated castle and eat the same healthy exotic food that your lord eats! Socialize with dozens of other harem brides as you work on joint projects of manor improvement and personal assistance. This highly sought after position is also an opportunity to be selected for delegated uterus renting to produce future nobles. Generous retirement packages.

Required: 2 year intensive training course in psychology and communication and at least 95% score on the HAT (Harem Assistant Test). Internships before dowry negotiation may be asked for.

7) Freelance Strike Manager

Help protect your community and the assets of the local baron through strike removal. Utilize the latest in tazer, chemical, and baton methodology to extract the troublesome progressive/communist/socialist/terrorist agitators from the ranks of normal serfs. Have the satisfaction of getting our remaining factories moving again! Flexible schedules and wide range of personal freedom in handling of diverse situations.

Required: Must be a loyal member of the local ruling party for at least 4 years. Former colonial military peacekeeper service and past criminal convictions for battery are recommended.

8) Manor Executive Manager ("Butler" in the peasant vernacular)

The most prestigious job on this list is of course the MEM. Stimulate your mind through being the right hand man of your lord. Live in a castle, oversee harem disputes, negotiate with local serf overseers, arrange festivities, and meet a lot of interesting people while holding their drinks.

Required: PhD in organizational psychology and bachelors in public relations. Former work in the academia, knowledge of high culture, grasp on 2+ languages, and non-peasant background is a must.

9) Debt Prison Security Manager

Help prevent strategic defaults on debt and guard runaway serfs as they are given work to redeem their sins. Enjoy unparalleled job security, improved credit score, and better interest rates for keeping democratic capitalism running.

Required: Bachelors in finance and a degree from a police academy. Martial arts skills are a plus. Must have good credit rating standing.

10) E.S. Counselor (Environmental and Spiritual)

Help provide spiritual and practical advice to troubled souls. Nothing brings more joy than providing people with textbook approved scientifically backed meaning. This position involves improving the living habits of serfs through explaining the dangers of environmentally damaging material possessions, the value of honest hard toil, and how to secure loans for tools necessary to maintain your solar hut and plot of land.

Required: Masters in psychology and geology followed by 4 years of practicum on various serf reservations. Must be charming, have good grasp of peasant vernacular and luddite theory.

But how will I pay for all the schooling necessary?

Talk with your local E.S. Counselor about the various indentured technician programs available in your principality.

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